“Judgment and love are opposites. From one come all the sorrows of the world. But from the other comes the peace of God Himself.” – A Course in Miracles
“Comparison is the thief of Joy” – Theodore Roosevelt
Have you ever felt bad after you compared yourself to someone else? Maybe someone else is slimmer than you, more successful or seems to have something that you don’t have. Before you compared yourself you felt at peace and suddenly it is gone. Comparison with others and competition are variations of judging others and yourself. Judging cannot lead to true inner peace.
When you live by comparison and competition with others you will either feel superior or inferior to others. It could also be that you switch constantly from feeling better to lesser than others and then back again. By not comparing yourself to others you will gain greater inner peace.
Coming from a spiritual perspective your self-love and self-worth come from who you are and not from what you do1. Many spiritual texts emphasize that human beings are good at their core. God created human beings as the image of Himself. That’s why we have and are all the qualities that God has Himself. Because of our inheritance everyone already has 100% self-worth.
Our upbringing, social programming and predispositions led to different ways of thinking and behavior that has to be unlearned now. Spiritual practices help to uncover negative thinking and patterns. They support you to realign with the good of your being that you already are and to act accordingly.
What are the approaches that support you to grow instead of comparing? The following list gives you some ideas:
- It is o.k. to compare yourself with yourself: work on yourself to be the best version of yourself. Remember what you already achieved in your life. You can also write down every night what you accomplished that day and read it later again and again. Start watching how you speak and what you think and write down all judgmental and comparative thoughts for review. Awareness is the first step. Do so lovingly and without judging yourself. Track which judgments come up frequently and work on resolving them one by one. This practice strengthens your personal power, lets you become aware of your subconscious mind and you will feel good about yourself2.
- Uplift and empower others: when you become aware of someone else needs support and is open to receive it, be of service. By judging others or yourself by comparing you really hurt only yourself. Instead, uplift and support each other.
- If someone else has more than you or you think the other person is better off in any way, be happy for the other person. Also, you never know the other person’s story. Maybe it appears different on the outside than the other person feels. Being grateful for what the other one has or is increases your power to magnetize the very thing to you. Instead of counting the blessings of others, count your own blessings3. Take them as an inspiration of what you want to have in your life and how you want to be. This other person is experiencing blessings in his or her life that you will come to experience, too, if this is for the best of all.
I am sure there are more ways transform the energy of comparison into uplifting, joy-giving attitudes. If you pay attention to this pattern for 21 days and work consciously on breaking this pattern and replacing it with being more loving, happy for others and taking your personal power for your own good and others, you will see how different your life feels.
Source of picture: Wikipedia, American children and children from Iraq learning together